The Payoff’s at the End

Posted: 28 May 2005 in other folks, therapy
Tags: ,

There is a woman whose blog I read (like a train wreck…) and who I’d link to if she weren’t on livejournal with all of her posts locked up nice and tight (be thankful I can’t rot your brain cells with it or I would) who is constantly depressed. She reports on her okay life with her so-so kids, her good enough fiance and her bouts with depression in a Dear Diary fashion that is both compelling and mind-numbing. She cycles through oh-I’m-so-happy posts and oh-I’m-sliding-into-the-deep-dark-well-of-leave-me-alone posts and never shows any sign of wanting to break the cycle.

Today I know how she feels. I’m wholly dissatisfied with everything. I can’t shake the sensation of not doing enough, of not being enough, of not giving enough. I feel certain that I’m worrying too much about everything (I usually am), and that I’m indulging too much envy, jealousy, spite, and longing. I’d list the things that occupy my thoughts, but I’m afraid that would give them weight and power. Writing things out has always worked for me, but in this case I think it would do more harm than good. So I bring you google’s top five suggestions for beating depression:

1. Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation – the 21st century answer to shock therapy
2. Caviar – what Salmon, mackerel, sardines, and anchovies can bring to you!
3. A joke – less serious? never occurred to me.
4. Getting knocked up – sorry, boys.
5. Proper nutrition – through a consultation with “Cocoon Nutrition”

As a bonus, I’d like to draw your attention to another blog I read that isn’t a train wreck. Meet Mike K. in Arizona, a down to earth guy currently enmeshed in the world of telemarketing, but with sharp observations on losing weight, dark thoughts and virginity at Just Off Center. Consider that your payment for wading through the drivel above.


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