I Have an Embarassing Secret

Posted: 18 December 2007 in joy, observations, therapy

I feel like I need to admit this to you.  You think I’m so cool cause of my voodoo secrets (Seriously people, I’m sure that’s how half of you got here.  Just admit it.  You tried the egg under the bed thing to get rid of bad luck.)  And you don’t believe me when I insist I haven’t got any mad voodoo skills, nor do I want any.  Really.  How many times do I have to tell you?  I’m teasing of course.  You can come here for voodoo if you want to. 

No, it’s that I have a deep an unabating fondness for my black crocs.  Now don’t mock me openly.  I’ve just shared a very sensitive part of my soul.  You know, the holey, black rubber part of my soul.  So now you know.  Believe me, I know that they are ugly and they probably aren’t good for you and not only do they poison your body, they poison the environment with their plastic wrath.  I can’t stop though.  So, while I want you to believe that everywhere I go I’m wearing these:

 Heels

In fact, what I’m really wearing is crocs.  Walking the dog, grocery shopping, even going to work (and then, of course, changing), you can barely* pry these off my feet:

Crocs

*Except when I’m in the house on our evil carpet.  Why is it evil, you ask?  Well, it has nothing to do with the voodoo and everything to do with the humidity of lack thereof.  After scuffing around in my trusty crocs this evening, I accidentally touched the screw on the light switch panel sending a violent shock through my hand and arm and out my nipple.  I saw it fly out, a streak of blue light.  I didn’t want to tell you that either, but now you know.  I’m sorry.  Points for reading this far.

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Comments
  1. rye says:

    Don’t feel bad. I have the same secret, except mine are dark blue. Once you’ve broken them in and they have MOLDED to your feet, there is NOTHING else more comfortable in the entire world. I say, wear those crocs with PRIDE, girl!

  2. bipolarlawyercook says:

    Ow! I don’t own any, and I still think they are hideous, but the lime green is so cheery, I may give in. However, their mock-ballerina flats? Those are cute, and look comfy. I am just beating up my old flats right now in an excuse to get a new pair.

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