What’s Next?

Posted: 16 February 2008 in therapy, work

I wish you could tell me.  Since I turned 16, I haven’t exactly known where I would be in the next two years.  I’ve always been pretty sure of the next six months.  Reasonably certain of the next year, but once I get to 18 months out, all bets were off.  It started innocently enough.  I knew I was going to college, just not where.  I figured I’d be somewhere else (somewhere that had a college, presumably) but I knew it wouldn’t be where I was.  I didn’t work very hard at getting to that place, but I managed it anyway.  Summers and academic years followed one on top of the other; summers in Some Place, and then back to school.  Then off to graduate school in Another Place with another set of summer Places. 

It’s not so unusual, up until now.  Six years, never knowing what new place the next year holds.  But then I picked a job that operates on assignments.  Granted, they come in one or two year chunks, but we pick em a year ahead of time and for the last eleven years all I’ve ever done is pick the next Place.  First DC.  Then I picked Brazil.  I picked Mozambique. I picked DC.  But then I changed apartments one, two three times.  I have no idea what’s going to happen in six months.  I’m set through June.  Through June, D. and I will be Here.  But then, sometime before September, we might be Some Place Else.  Or, we might not be.  I don’t know. 

I don’t think most people live with this degree of uncertainty.  I’d like to think I’m handling it fairly well, but then, I don’t think I am. 

ISO: One Place.  Must be have employment opportunities, coffee shops, dog parks.  Please be good looking, good acting.  Clean, lots of light, first world pluses.  Needed immediately. 

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Comments
  1. Will says:

    And I thought my five-year jumps were bad. I’ve lived in my current apartment for almost 2 years, and that’s the longest I’ve lived in any one room since 2001. I think some people are just tuned to transience, and others are not, regardless of what their life experiences may suggest about their habits, or maybe somewhere along the line one’s able to make a transition between the two. I once knew a diplomat’s daughter who had lived in a different country every other year of her life (this was a few years ago, so we were about 17), who said something along the lines of her “body just knew when it was time to move on,” which seemed incomprehensible to me…

    It’s almost time for me to leave Baltimore after living here for 4 years. I used to think I knew what it felt like to be attached to a place, but it seems I am only beginning to find out.

    PS. Speaking of Baltimore, it’s as homey a city as any, and cheap too!

  2. linaria says:

    Starting in third grade, I lived in a different place every year. All within a relatively small geographic area–but when you’re young the difference between one school district and the next is far more than five miles. Then I lived in [Something Akin To Foster Care], follow two different middle schools, two different high schools, and (suprise!) two different colleges–I think I transferred out of sheer habit.

    K. lived in the same house her entire life. A house with a mortgage that’s been paid off since 1947. It makes for interesting conversations, sometimes.

    (Which is all to say that even if I don’t understand, I think I kinda do, and hope you’ll find your home sooner rather than later.)

  3. backlist says:

    I think I’d like to know someone who has lived in the same place for a whole life. I know a lot of two-placers and a lot of folks like me. I want to be them so secretly (or not) but at the same time, I wonder if they are alright.

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