Definitely a Sin

Posted: 26 March 2008 in joy, observations, the fantastic

This post is not about religion.  There’s church, and god, and praying, but this post is actually about lust.  Crazy, unending, can’t stop thinking about her, lust. 

It’s so wrong.

The eve of Easter finds us keeping vigil with the Catholics in DC.  She’s a purebred and I’m a visitor, but we attend just once a year, for the Saturday night mass before Easter Sunday.  If the straight Catholics weren’t so conservative, she might find a home with them.  If she didn’t find the Dignity gays so overly friendly, such a small community, she might go every week.  If she had the time, I think she might go more than once a week.  My wife, she likes god a lot.  I think she misses the opportunity to chat more formally with him. 

As for me, I like the earthy pagan tones of Easter Vigil.  I don’t keep to any particular religion.  Confirmed Presbyterian, identified mostly Buddhist, D. jokes that I’m a Buddhabyterian.  The bottom line?  I deeply enjoy watching the priest light the fire, the weirdness of the rituals, the singing and the rote recitations.  I don’t think the Catholics mind a heathen in their midst as long as I stay quietly out of their communion.  And that’s no problem really, cause communion is where things get particularly good for me.

D. is incredibly hot when she’s praying.  When she bows her head and closes her eyes, I get that familiar twinge; the flutter that means my mind is quickly moving from thoughts of piety to thoughts of privacy.  It isn’t the way she looks while she’s praying, it’s the idea of glimpsing that deeply personal moment, while she connects in every way with her body, spirit and beliefs, that turns me into a dripping mess.  I admit, it’s lucky for her that other people are there or I might be too tempted to resist.  Regardless of the why, watching her pray is such a turn on, I can’t keep still.  It’s practically indecent. 

That’s enough judging.  You can confess your own sins now.

  1. Nah, that’s love and respect. Hot, wet love, but love nonetheless.

  2. God is love, right? Presumably, in all of its forms. Therefore, how can it be wrong to think about sex in a church? It’s not like you’re fantasizing about anyone other than your committed partner.

    (My fundamentalist Baptist upbringing is now sending alarm bells all over the place at my blasphemy, but my pagan-Jewish-culturally Christian present-day self is amused.)

  3. rye says:

    That is the most romantic description of prayer I have ever read. *sigh*

    When I was younger (I was raised Catholic – but only when my grandparents were in town!), I used to try and make eye contact with the priest to distract him during Mass. I would imagine all the ways I could get him to break his vow of chastity. I think I was exposed to The Thorn Birds a little too early in life, haha!

  4. backlist says:

    I knew I could tell you guys 😉

  5. dylan says:

    That is probably the cutest thing I’ve heard in a really long time. Not because it’s cute to get turned on by your partner who’s praying… but because you get TURNED ON by the fact that it’s such a deeply personal and connected moment for her. That means you must really really really love her. And that’s adorable.

    I don’t think God would frown about you for that.

  6. backlist says:

    There’s nothing else sexy for me about church, but put her in it and…well let’s just say it isn’t beatification.

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