Never the Same One Twice

Posted: 29 April 2008 in observations, therapy

As I sat in a hairdresser’s chair last night I realized, I’m a committment phobe.  No, you’re right, I am married and she’s still as wonderful and as hot as she ever was.  Points for remembering.  I just can’t commit to repeat visits.  It’s not just services, like a hair cut.  Oh no, it extends to dentists, florists, bakeries, anyone with whom I might form a useful, lasting relationship.  And it isn’t a new habit either.  As I sat there in the chair, I realized that the same person has never cut my hair more than once. 

I deliberately sneak around.   I’ve been to most of the salons in the area once.  If I go more than once, I deliberately go on the day the previous stylist isn’t there.  Once I accidentally ended up with the same person I had seen three years previous.  I felt sick the entire time.  Dentists are just as bad.  I jump through ridiculous hoops to change the dentist on the insurance policy so I can see someone else.  It has nothing to do with service, I just don’t want to form a relationship.  Believe me, it pains me that I saw the same orthopedist for 2 years.  And it’s a miracle I still have the same physician.  But you need a cake?  Different shop each time.  Grocery store?  If I have to have a checker, it’s never the same one twice.  I avoid the same guards at work.  I duck familiar sellers at the farmer’s market. 

I’m not sure what brings it on. Maybe it’s too many years of moving.  It’s not a family habit either way.  In fact, I think my very vocal mother would scold me if she knew I didn’t go back to the same person.  She’d be certain there would be some benefit to striking up a friendship.  And that’s the key for me.  I’m not interested in being friends.  I’m perfectly happy to be nice in every interaction, but then I never want to see that person again.  They might start asking personal questions.  They might expect me to chatter.  I am not a chatterer.

This realization pains me.  Not because I’d like to change this habit, but because of the waxer.  Oh, you heard me.  We don’t need to discuss the details of the waxing, only that the waxer has the best reputation in the area.  A magazine worthy reputation.  A newspaper worthy reputation.  An appointments one month in advance kind of reputation.  And I’m certain she’s going to do a good job.  And then, I’m never going to want to go back.  And this could be a problem you see, because well, with the wax it’s all about maintenance.  I have another week or so to worry about repeat visits and I’ve got to get the first one out of the way.  As a side note, wish me luck.

Fortunately for you, this doesn’t extend to regular people.  Just people providing a service.  So as long as you promise not to do anything to me or for me in exchange for pay, we can still be friends.  Deal? 



  1. dylan says:

    I’ve been back to the same hair cutter three times now and we don’t know anything more about each other than we did when I first walked in. Most times we barely talk. Too bad actually because she’s REALLY hot and mad skilled at cutting my hairs. I could never risk someone new every time… and I mean with food and stuff, once I find the good stuff, I keep going back!

    Just go back to the waxer if she’s good. They look at it as total business, even if they’re being super nice, it’s because they want good tips. Don’t worry about them getting attached. You know just one person… but they have hundreds of clients.

  2. Will says:

    Man, I’m the same way. Beer I’ve never drank? I’ll have it, as long as it has character. Daily special sandwich? They might not make it again!

    A good haircut’s hard to find, though, and bad ones stick around for a while. Or you could be like me and let it grow out 5 months at a time; that way, it looks the same at the end anyway.

  3. backlist says:

    Dylan- totally true. But oh how I wish I had someone that wouldn’t talk to me. I’d actually go back to that person!

    Will – How did you know?! I always wait 5 months, and I’m sort of hair indifferent (long, blonde, layered – can’t screw that up too badly) so if they get a wild hare, I’m safe.

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