No, Actually, I’m Peachy.

Posted: 5 October 2009 in observations
Tags: , , ,

Hi concerned citizen! I’m delighted to see that you’ve noticed me.  After all, it’s what everyone wants, isn’t it? To be noticed? Recognized? Although I’d prefer to go silently past, I’m aware that you’re doing what you think is your social duty to acknowledge me and make small talk.  As you can probably tell, I’m thrilled that you’ve broken up my day with an observation about my person or, even better, my personality.

I look grumpy? Well, that’s flattering. But not as flattering as when I tell you I’m not and you go on to say that I look like I have allergies, then.  I had hoped any ruddiness on my face was invisible to the human eye, but you’ve done me a great service by letting me know that my eyes are red-rimmed and my nose is bigger than normal.  I’m sure you didn’t mean to deflate me so quickly.

While we’re on the topic, I forgot to thank you the last time you commented on my health.  It was, of course, months ago, so you probably don’t remember how cute it was when you told me in such a concerned voice that I was always sick.  That you have somehow remembered the last time I had a cold (March) and combined it with the time I had food poisoning (November) and formed this idea of an ambulatory heap of seeping disease that is me.  Thanks so much for noticing.  Please keep telling me I’m always sick.  We’re going to be best friends, I can already tell.

I know you have the best of intentions and I’m being, well, insensitive, to your needs, but I would be deeply grateful if you could stop remarking on my health, mood or emotions.  They are all fine, thank you very much.  And, if they’re not, you can be certain I won’t be confiding in you.

  1. hannah says:

    Well, as we all know, you get a cold by choice. Same with food poisoning. You must be doing it to inconvenience everyone else!

  2. Oh I love this post! I hate it when people say to me “you look tired”. What does that mean? Does that mean I look like shit? Seriously people need to think before they speak. 🙂

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