It’s Electric

Posted: 15 October 2009 in observations
Tags: ,

You might not want to come near me with that pricey electronic thing you’re holding.  If you’ve been near me long enough, you know better.  You know to keep stereos and televisions and light switches and appliances and even cars out of my way.  You certainly know to keep telephones away by now.  I’m like a walking electrical outage.

It hasn’t been bad lately.  I haven’t zapped the other phone (yet) and all the digital displays are working (more or less).  But this week has brought a higher than usual number of malfunctions into range.  First, the alarm clock jolted us out of sleep at 2:30.  Two things to know about this clock: 1) it is never set to go off and  2) it uses light, not sound to wake you.  There is no beep function.  Tell that to a glowing, screeching clock at 230 in the morning when you’ve been having a terrible nightmare about burglars and it’s coming true.  Then, I went to work and watched as the computers fizzled as I walked past.  One lost the internet, the next one’s monitor failed and the third froze and had to be replaced altogether.  I do sit at a public desk people, this can’t happen.  Books must be checked out!

These mishaps do not include the internal car lights that flashed repeatedly at me a few days ago, the stopped clocks in three of my meeting rooms today (including the one on my cell phone) or the ambivalent attitude all of my phones about receiving calls.  Tried to reach me today?  You didn’t.  But, I’m typing and no lights have flickered and I feel like that’s making progress.

You’ll have to suspend your disbelief here for a moment, but I can assure you, these electronic episodes only happen when I’m stressed out.  How self-centered you’re thinking (stop smirking and read)!  No one can make electricity fail!  Ha ha you silly thing!  As much as I’d like to agree with you, this has happened my entire life.  When I’m angry, lights flash or go out.  When I’m nervous, electronic devices flutter and fade.  When I’m stressed I walk around followed by a host of beeps as machines disintegrate.

Believe or not, this is noticeably better than exploding radiator and air hoses (’91) shattering coffee cups (’99-01), falling picture frames (’95, ’00), locking doors (’95-98) and flapping blinds (’92, 3,’5, 7 & 8).  Flapping. Blinds.  What I am?  The kid from poltergeist?  Regardless, this week isn’t a good week for you to show me your new iPhone.

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Comments
  1. This happens with Janie. We have had to replace many electronics because she keeps breaking them with her presence. I cannot tell you how many DVD players and VCRs and televisions we have had to buy over the years.

  2. Dylan says:

    Umm… I’m not even sure what to say to this. I would say it’s coincidence but that’s an awful lot of things. Maybe something is off with your magnetic field. Whatever you do, stay inside during lightening storms. You may be one of those people more likely to be struck.

    YIKES!

  3. kidnumber2 says:

    After my close encounter with the livestock fence yesterday I was thinking about humans and electricity, and thought of your post. We do use electrical impulses for our nervous systems and to control our hearts. It might be possible that your electromagnetic system is just unusual. I’m not a biologist though, so I don’t know how likely that is to cause so much electronic interference.

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