I’m sorry, I have the flu.

Posted: 3 January 2010 in observations
Tags: , ,

I’m that person.  The person who cancels.

I have the BEST of intentions.  Really.  I want to see you.  I want to hang out.  I want to laugh and spend time and celebrate our wonderfulness.  And so I say YES!  Yes I want to see you and come to your house and stay up to all hours loving life.  YES!

But I’m going to cancel.  Watch me.  It will happen three out of four times and the fourth time is just cause I’m feeling guilty.  24 hours before I’m supposed to come I get paralyzed.  I can’t do it.  I dread coming to your house.  I feel like I might die.  I know I’ll have a good time, I know you’ll be a magnificent host.  I’m sure I’ll even be charming.  But I feel so much better if I don’t come.  Like a test I haven’t studied for being cancelled.  Like a test for a class I’ve never been to being cancelled.  Relief of the holy kind.

It’s not anxiety exactly.  My palms don’t sweat and my heart doesn’t race.  It’s just that when you asked me I really did want to come.  REALLY.  And then when it’s time to be there, I really don’t want to go.  REALLY.  There seems to be no strategy for this except to say no in advance and apologize after.  This would be easier if I’d have the good sense to say no when you ask, but when you ask, I want to, I do.

I’d go somewhere to fix this, but I’d probably cancel.

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Comments
  1. N says:

    You’re not alone.

  2. mrsbasement says:

    I have discovered this, your other blog! And lacking an email address, I have to write an inappropriate response to the most recent post in order to tell you this, but still have a heart and refer to the content of the recent post, as well. Here goes:

    1.) Having probably moved in the same circles at some point in the Baltimore Washington Metropolitan Area, should we reveal our real identities to each other or continue to totally like one another anonymously? I mean, I like you, so I assume you like me. ;}

    2.) Um, as far as being a bad friend (that was just a little joke), um. That totally sucks. You should have people come to you. Seriously. Surely you dont have the cajones to invite someone over and then tell them to come at the last minute?

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